The Denzel Principle

So what does your very own Denzel look like? Well, he’s rich but earthy, handsome but not pretty, doting but not docile, tough but vulnerable, political but not radical, passionate but not hysterical, ambitious but not overbearing, well read but not nerdy, manly but not macho, gentle but not feminine, Black but not militant, sexy but not solicitous, flirtatious but particular...and all that on cue and in proper measure.

Now, men get a lot of the blame for destroying the black family because conventional wisdom suggests that they spend all their time beating up women, shooting dice late into the night, stealing watermelon from Ofay The Farmer and being generally useless and unmarriageable. And let’s be honest: There are a lot of brothers out there fucking up, but not nearly as many as you think. Normally, those brothers wear their crazy on their sleeves. You can see and often times smell them from the curb. Women tend to mask their crazy with lipstick, perfume, Apple Bottom Jeans and such. Men aren’t as smart as women about these kinds of things, and often don’t know what they're getting into. (Source-http://www.theroot.com/views/bound-denzel-principle)

The color line

“Statistics show that more Black women are dating White men. Black female/White male marriages went from 27,000 in 1980 to 80,000 by 2000, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.”

"Some men don't perceive certain women as your average woman anymore because of their experience or education," explains Nichols-Nash. "Some Black men will look at you a certain way. They know that you have a lot going on and that they can't play games. Sometimes it's harder to attract Black guys when you have a lot going for yourself."

These are some things that I have read and see when I talk to sisters who cross the color line. I also hear this kind of madness when I talk to brothers who cross the color line. We are in a great war with each other and we are beating each other to death. We fail to water our own grass but gaze in awe as we look across the fence at what we thing are greener pastures. What we don’t know is that is not real grass it is astro turf.

I think that most sisters want and need a strong brother to stand by her and support her and generally love her. She feels she is not getting that so she either is running to the other side or running to the arms of another sister for comfort. I still believe that if you cross the color line cross it because you love that person not because you are sick of your own race, which is self hate, and it will poison you and eventually kill you.

Sisters the brothers love you more than you will ever know but the issues that you hit us with are sometimes hard to bear. I know of good brothers who seek good sisters to have meaningful relationships with and to eventually marry. But fall short and sometime I must say through their own shortcomings, “she has to look like this or that”, “she can’t have this or that”…damn brothers are we perfect

Just because you date and marry white does not make you white through association or proxy. As pointed out on a recent CNN program white America still does not like or want around, they make fun of us as the college students did on MLK day by having the party mocking black people. Don’t get it twisted we have not over come just yet. To investigate interracial prejudice among White college students, Donscheski-Swinney (1999), conducted a study using 31 male and 50 female participants from Wayne State College. Donscheski-Swinney had the participants view two photographs, one of a man and one of a woman. The photographs were individual pictures of either a White, Black, or Hispanic man or woman. The author had nine different groups of participants look at different combinations of the photographs and rate the couples’ compatibility. It was found that the White woman/White man couple was rated significantly more positively than any other female/male couples. According to Donscheski-Swinney, the results suggested that White students view couples’ compatibility significantly more negatively for interracial or other-racial groups. This study was an extension of the author’s previous research that only used photographs of a Black and White man and a White woman. The study paired the Black man and White woman or the White man with the same White woman, with no pairing done of a Black man and Black woman.

No matter what the press says the fact still remains the vast majority of Black men, including entertainers, athletes and high-powered professionals do not date and marry White women. In fact, the most accomplished Black men are married to beautiful Black women, including Bill Cosby, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Spike Lee, David Justice, Eddie Murphy, Danny Glover, Gen. Colin Powell, Commerce Secretary Ronald Brown and members of the Congressional Black Caucus. It is also significant that most Black executives at Black and White corporations are married to Black women.
You all must remember that the real brothers love you sisters!!!!

AMERICA'S UNCROWNED QUEENS:Dedicated to the Heroic, Toiling Black Womanby Drusilla Dunjee Houston
'Neath a weary load upon dusky head,Upon American streets is the treadOf an uncrowned type of heroine,Their labors untrumpeted and unseen.It to her helpmate, life chance is deniedWith undaunted courage, she stems the tide,Meets some of homes needs, help make it fair;That he may find a kingship there.
When manhood is shackled, into its placeNature oft forces a courageous raceOf women, who with heroic spirit,Stamp within unborn children the meritDenied their fathers. For what man's disdainKeeps from one generation, the next will gain.
We see them in rain, in cold and the heat,As they pass us with patient, toil worn feet.Behind some great universities wallIt is the boy or girl for whom she gives allSometimes the more sacrificial her fireThe less we praise it, the more we require.
Whipped with the lash, until the reddened stain,Of her life blood ran from opening vein,In slavery's hour, this type was trueTo virtue. Today life's way they pursueAs heroically. No scorn or slightCan change her ideals, she sees aright;That duty done, in higher worlds will meanThat she will be more than an uncrowned queen.

Finding the right sister

Brothers it would seem that we are finding it harder and harder finding the right woman...I hear sisters say this all the time but upon entering into conversations with other men the topic of women always brings about the quality of women that are out there for us to choose from...the issues that we have to deal with after meeting them...I must say that all of us have issues and dealing with them is another thing...I point out to my friends that we as black people have got to start talking to each other instead of talking at each other...We are gr owning further and further apart and I fear that we are nearing the point of no return, I for one love my sisters and would not trade them for anything in world, but I am running into brothers who have all but given up on them...they site that they are too hard to deal with, I say to them that we as black men are no walk in the park and we often times are a hand full, this by no means forgives somethings that sisters do to us but there is two sides to every story...I tell sisters that she wolves pick better mates than allot of black women do, a she wolf will only mate with the male that gives her off spring the best chance for survival, but sisters don't do that much research into a man and will go with the brother with the most bling, bling and biggest car (which most often is rented or he is living out of it) or who has the smoothest game (real men don't play games)...after getting taken through the ringer they expect the good brothers to come and clean up the mess that this shell of a man has made....I would be remiss if I didn't say that allot of men fall for this method of choosing women too, but sisters you all wrote the book on this...thus comes the baggage from all these failed relationships...since we all are a sum total of all our life's experiences we drag these bricks from one relationship to the next building on bad habits...notice I said we because both men and women do it....that is why I say we have to start talking to each other instead of at each other...